White Out

White on white is a very difficult outfit to wear. I know because there have been many times I have tried sporting this look and failed. Apparently, as with life, you can’t help getting dirty or soiled at the end of the day. Circumstances make it almost impossible for us to remain clean and pure… in fashion, these may come in the form of accidentally grazing your outfit against a dirty pavement, spilling a beverage on your outfit or if you’re really unlucky, accidentally blotting a pen on your clothes (and I think the common consensus on this is the stain of a pen is the hardest to remove on white clothing). In life, there are so many events and circumstances that we have to face which requires actually getting our hands dirty and I guess remaining untarnished and unstained is a privilege most of the population is granted (myself not included). However, I got to thinking and told myself, “what the heck,” since we are all just winging it, I might as well try. I have always believed in the whole what you risk reveals what you value school of thought and I think I value learning very much so I decided to risk going white on white and go all in thus the outfit. It was a particular rainy day when I wore this (talk about wrong timing right?) but I was shocked to see that as the day ended, I was almost practically unscathed except for a few minor dust marks which could be easily erased… nothing permanent enough actually.

White Sweater with Lace Floral Sleeves: Oath (Also worn HERE)
White Pants: Zara
Beige Leather Gaufre Satchel with Bow: Prada
Pastel Macaron Charm Key Chain: Laduree
Cream Ankle Strap Shoes: Forever 21(Also worn HERE)
Watch: Charriol
Bangles: My own collection, BVLGARI and Louis Vuitton
I think I have emphasized so many times that I am an advocate for the idea that mistakes- no matter how life altering, life crushing or humiliating, help shape our identity. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some mistakes I would like to erase and wipe off completely from my life. Unfortunately, unlike a piece of paper, a mistake we make in life is not as easy to delete with the use of a white out marker. It tends to have more permanence and it will come out, no matter how hard we try to conceal it or cover it up and given that, might as well learn from it…right? So whenever I feel the need to draw a mental map of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, I can not help bu pat myself on the back for having made the most of them and learning from them (and for overcoming my predisposition to eat a tub of ice cream or locking myself in closet whenever something bad happens.) I have erased the idea of crafting the “perfect profile” to attract a following, readers or friends. Just like everyone else, I am flawed and there’s no shame in that. I also know that having no filter makes me susceptible to saying things before thinking about whether or not I should’ve said it and since we are all operating in a world where the Internet is everything, having the ability to erase digital evidence of your mistakes is harder than one might think. Once you post something, it’s out there which is good since it demands responsibility and also because at the end of the day, you can’t just white out a computer screen… you have to live with your mistakes and hopefully… admit and then learn from them. Personally, I think not having the ability to just “erase and write off our mistakes” affects our behavior as we are forced to deal with the silly things our past selves thought/said/did. We are less reckless and we learn to accept ourselves as we are- human and being so, flawed.
At the end of the day, I think that it’s you versus yourself. You may not have always been able to see things that way but it’s the truth. You are your own biggest motivator and your own worst enemy. So sometimes, when it comes to mistakes, I think it’s best to face them head on, live with the consequences and then let go. You can’t change the outcome once the mistake has been committed and you won’t make sense of the situation. You certainly won’t heal through repeated contemplation. So it is best to admit to the mistakes you’ve made and let it go. Rise to the occasion if it calls for it, make amends, accept the consequences, crash, burn, learn to live with it and then move on. Let it go. We all make mistakes and can you imagine what a world would be like if everyone simply dwell on or tried to delete (an impossible thing) a mistake? Letting go is not defeat and allow me to emphasize that. It isn’t a display of weakness…if anything, it shows strength. Accepting ourselves, as flawed as we are and letting go is moving on. It is surviving in a world in which survival is anything but a promise. Perhaps in a very distant future, one will be able to pick and choose the things you can undo, though I highly doubt it. It’s happened and you can’t make it un-happen and you certainly live in limbo forever. So allow yourself to fall apart sometimes because I have news for you: nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s just a matter of how you want to rebuild from there. Make way for the bigger, the better, the beautiful, the miraculous and the marvelous. It’s ready for you when you are.
Photos by: Celyn Jaravata
xx, JL