“Life flies by, and it’s easy to get lost in the blur. In adolescence, it’s ‘How do I fit in?’ In your 20s, it’s ‘What do I want to do?’ In your 30s, ‘Is this what I’m meant to do?’ I think the trick is living the questions. Not worrying so much about what’s ahead but rather sitting in the grey area – being OK with where you are.”
For those of you who have been reading up on my entries since before, you would know I am usually very personal when it comes to writing my entries. I think that was the case until recently, when my entries mainly focused on “I wore this _______ on _______ ensemble to a ___________….” I never wanted to write those kind of entries when I started out this blog but unfortunately, time constraints and the need for me to devote myself to other facets of my life made me exactly that. I apologize for it but I can’t help it. Hopefully, some of you are still able to relate to me in some level even if my presence from social media- especially in this blog and in my ask.fm page- has been almost non-existent. Nonetheless, I am grateful to you who still continue to follow my random musings.
I used to have the most extreme life events happening to me. Seriously. It was all about severe highs and also severe lows. There was actually no middle ground. Throughout the years, this frustration has left me dazed and confused until I decided how much better it was to be “just fine” and not to be run around frantically like headless chickens because we are struggling and feel less adequate. I think we’ve come to define how we should be in black and white that when things don’t turn out as we expect them to (as what is usually the case… because you know… life), we feel regret and shame. I think our culture runs on regret and shame. Actually, the more I talk to a plethora of people in all stages of life, the more I realize that no one has it all figured out and that in fact, that’s just perfectly normal.I figured out that: It’s important to be okay with who you are, to accept that you might always feel lost and have moments where you need some guidance. Feeling a bit lost sometimes is normal for no other reason than because the world is so hard to navigate. Life isn’t a race. There isn’t a grand prize on who got to figure out things first.
I think the point I am trying to make is that it’s okay to just be comfortable with who you are and in your own skin. Personally, the people I admire and really look up to are those who have a certain kind of “effortlessness” to their personality and how they live their life… you know, those who are comfortable with where they’re at. Hopefully I am moving towards that somehow and soon, I aim to be not so much ruled by so much anxiety and control. I am not quite there yet but I do see myself already changing and moving toward that.
I have to say that would be my true definition of success: just being totally accepting of yourself and where you’re at in your life. I feel like there’s always a certain level of self-doubt that’s healthy and we should have that but personally, I just do not want to go through life questioning anything that I do or decide. I guess it’s just about getting to a place of calm, of not constantly measuring myself against others.
Take things as they come. That’s all you can do. Otherwise, you’re just getting in your own way. We all have our own time and pace where we travel our own way, our own direction and distance. However, remember being successful requires a certain attitude. It’s not a skill. It’s not a place where we arrive. It’s what is being done every single day. We just have to be the one to believe it.
Life won’t always be black or white. Nobody has everything all figured out. Compromise in colors of grey.
Chiffon Halter Top: Zara
Pinstripe Light Gray Culottes: Zara
Two Tone Trio Canvas and Leather Bag: Celine
Leather Open Back Pumps: Kenneth Cole
x, J